Falling in Love with Myself

23 Feb

 

Often, you hear adults refer to their college years, or high school as the golden years or glory days. For me, the opposite is true. I can stand here and say that in my late twenties, I am experiencing a love affair…with myself.

As a girl whose always just been a bit outside of the realm of the popularity, a girl whose always been big boned and curvy, a girl whose always been more than a little goofy…I definitely did not always fit in. I struggled, especially through middle school and high school. I was not always a happy person, as a result I was not always a great daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend. It is difficult to give your best self to those you love, when you do not necessarily love yourself.

Love is a tricky concept. I have always found it fairly easy to love my family, friends and wife unconditionally. Even when they drive me up a wall, and with my family full of strong personalities, that happens, I love them completely. I have not always found it so easy to love me.

I am not sure when that began to change, but somewhere around 21 or 22, I began to realize that I had some toxic friends and relationships. I let those people stay around me because I’m not very good at ending things and also because I let people treat me poorly. I let people judge me and I let myself take those judgements to heart.

Things slowly began to change, and with time I began to surround myself with people that lifted me up in life. I began to develop true, deep friendships. The kind that last through distance and time. I found someone worthy of my heart, who loved me as much I should have always been loving myself.

So, this year, I am making a promise. Not to cut myself down because I still have a few extra pounds. Not to cut myself down because the idea of a conventional 9 to 5 job makes me cringe more than I can really say. This year, I am going to celebrate all the things I love about being me. I am going to take time to nurture those things and build them up. To celebrate joy at every turn. This is my year to shed the darkness.

I think I have always found the things that set me apart from the popular crowd a bit comforting. It made it easy to hide in my shell. Now, I find those things inspiring, because I am unique. I am worthy of joy..and so are you.

So here’s to….

  • being a complete and total book nerd and finding solace in the library.
  • understanding words better than people sometimes.
  • loving country music and rock belonging to the decades before I was born.
  • having amazing friends and crazy, loving family.
  • wanting to make a living being creative.
  • being completely in love with my life
  • being the kind of girl who takes her wife on dates to the park and spends hours on the playground

What makes you, you? What are you celebrating these days?

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7 Responses to “Falling in Love with Myself”

  1. Becky February 24, 2011 at 11:02 pm #

    Ooooh, I LOVE this post. You’re such a lovely person and it’s wonderful that you’re embracing the positive and shedding the negative.

    Love!!

    • erinmakesitwork March 1, 2011 at 9:24 am #

      Thanks Becky! I am determined to make this my year and find joy at every turn. 🙂

  2. Emily Jane February 25, 2011 at 1:31 pm #

    I LOVE this post and I found myself nodding along because I agree with so much of it!! I wish I could give you a big high five right now. I, too, don’t look on my high school days as “glory days” – I was awkward as all heck and definitely didn’t fit in – the key being it got to me. Now I still don’t fit in, but I’m happy with embracing having friends and interests that aren’t necessarily mainstream 🙂 Yay you!!

    • erinmakesitwork March 1, 2011 at 9:26 am #

      You know, sometime after I got out of high school and college, I started to realize that not fitting in was what was so great about this world. We are all so different and that’s the spice of life. Keep it up, because you are amazing. 🙂

  3. steph anne March 1, 2011 at 12:49 am #

    Excellent post!! I like to think that things will always get better no matter what…and it does if you let it happen. 🙂

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Quest for Self-Love « Erin Makes It Work - March 2, 2011

    […] I mentioned in my last post, this is my year. I am determined to get through it with self-love, self-awarness and a huge, […]

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